Chapter 20 - THE BROTHER
Ryan remembered Adam as brave.
That was the problem with the dead.
Memory edited them.
Adam climbed roofs.
Drove too fast.
Started fights he couldn't finish.
Quit jobs before he had new ones.
People called that fearless.
Ryan had too.
The emails showed something else.
Adam was terrified of one thing.
Ryan.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
Ryan found a draft Adam never sent.
Recipient:
RYAN.
Subject:
I need to tell you something about Mara.
The body had only four sentences.
I slept with her after you two ended.
She's pregnant.
I thought the baby might be mine.
It isn't.
Nothing else.
No Lily.
No explanation.
No send.
Another draft appeared eight months later.
Ryan,
I should have told you before she was born.
Deleted.
Another when Lily turned one.
Ryan,
There is a little girl you need to meet.
Deleted.
Ryan closed the laptop.
Claire sat across from him.
“He tried.”
Ryan looked at her.
“No.”
“He wrote—”
“He typed.”
Claire stopped.
Ryan stood.
“Trying is calling.”
He pointed at the laptop.
“Trying is driving twenty minutes to my house.”
His voice rose.
“Trying is saying my name and then the truth.”
Claire let him be angry.
Finally.
Ryan continued.
“He had five years.”
Claire nodded.
“Yes.”
Ryan expected resistance.
None came.
He sat again.
“I loved him.”
“I know.”
“I still do.”
“I know.”
“That makes this worse.”
Claire's eyes filled.
Ryan looked down.
“I keep wanting one person to have caused this.”
Claire said nothing.
“Grant.”
Silence.
“You.”
Claire looked at him.
“Adam.”
He swallowed.
“Mara.”
That one hurt differently.
Claire whispered:
“She was scared too.”
“I know.”
Ryan rubbed his face.
“And me.”
Claire frowned.
Ryan looked at her.
“I deleted her email.”
“You didn't know.”
“I knew she said something important happened.”
“You didn't know Lily existed.”
“I made sure I wouldn't.”
Claire looked away.
Ryan continued.
“Everybody had a moment where telling the truth would've been hard.”
He looked at Adam's drafts.
“So everybody waited for the next person.”
Upstairs, footsteps.
Ethan appeared at the kitchen doorway.
“Dad?”
Ryan closed the laptop.
“What?”
“Lily's here.”
Ryan frowned.
“She is?”
Ethan nodded.
“Aunt Nora dropped her off.”
“For what?”
Ethan shrugged.
“She said Lily wanted to ask you herself.”
Ryan stood.
Lily waited in the living room holding a small backpack.
Nora stood behind her.
Ryan crouched.
“Hey.”
Lily looked nervous.
“Can I stay here tonight?”
Ryan looked at Nora.
Then Claire.
Then back at Lily.
Every adult instinct in the room wanted to discuss schedules.
Custody.
Therapy.
Sleeping arrangements.
Transitions.
Ryan asked one question.
“Do you want to?”
Lily nodded.
“Yes.”
May you like
Ryan smiled.
“Then let's figure it out.”
