Chapter 11 - Mara Came Back Without Sending Anyone First
She returned the next morning.
I had stayed overnight at a hotel near the station because my train home left at eleven.
I did not tell Noah.
He did not ask me to stay.
Mara found me in the station café.
She approached alone.
No Jake.
No Noah.
No audience she had arranged.
“Coffee?”
she asked.
“Already committed.”
She sat.
For several minutes, neither spoke.
Then she said:
“I told Noah I was sorry.”
“For?”
“Telling him you were dead.”
I nodded.
“How did he take it?”
“Badly.”
“Good.”
She gave me a look.
“I mean appropriately.”
“Still sounds like you.”
Fair.
She wrapped both hands around her cup.
“I need to tell you something that will make you think I’m rewriting again.”
“Excellent opening.”
“Walter.”
I stopped.
She continued.
“When I left the station in 1999, I did want you to follow.”
I stared.
“What?”
“Not onto the train.”
“Then?”
“I wanted you to stop me.”
That angered me instantly.
“You told me not to follow.”
“I know.”
“You cannot—”
“I know.”
She looked up.
“I was twenty.”
“That doesn't make me psychic.”
“No.”
“Then why tell me now?”
“Because I spent years thinking you should have known.”
I sat back.
Mara continued.
“I said go away and wanted you to hear stay.”
“That was unfair.”
“Yes.”
“Cruel, actually.”
“Yes.”
The agreement took some anger out of me.
She continued.
“When you didn't follow, I used it as proof.”
“That I didn't love you.”
“Yes.”
“Did you ever consider calling and saying what you meant?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I wanted you to fail.”
The sentence landed quietly.
She looked down.
“Part of me wanted you to prove my worst version right because then leaving hurt less.”
I had no response ready.
Good.
After a while I said:
“I did something similar.”
She looked up.
“When?”
“The phone call.”
Two weeks later.
“When you hung up, I waited for you to call again.”
Mara nodded.
“I know.”
“How?”
“Because I waited for you.”
We almost laughed.
Didn't.
She continued:
“Chris asked why I kept checking the phone.”
My stomach tightened.
“What did you say?”
“That my father would call.”
“Did he tell you I wouldn't?”
“Yes.”
“Did you believe him?”
“Eventually.”
There was another layer.
Not conspiracy.
Just somebody present filling the space of somebody absent.
“Did Chris stop you from calling?”
“No.”
Important.
Mara owned that herself.
“He liked that I was angry at you.”
“I’m sure.”
“But I didn't need his help.”
I nodded.
We drank coffee.
Then I asked:
“Why tell Noah I tried to take him?”
Mara looked tired.
“Because that is what I believed.”
“Still?”
She thought.
“I believe you considered it.”
“Yes.”
“I believe you thought I was failing him.”
“Yes.”
“Were you?”
I did not answer.
She laughed quietly.
“Still.”
“Not my call.”
“No.”
She nodded.
“I was failing some things.”
That was hers.
She continued.
“But I turned your lawyer call into a kidnapping plan because it made distance easier to explain.”
I looked out at the concourse.
Travelers moved under the bright windows.
“Are you afraid Noah will choose me now?”
Mara stiffened.
“Yes.”
Honest.
“After one day?”
“Yes.”
“That seems insulting to both of us.”
She almost smiled.
“I know.”
Then:
“He wants you at his wedding.”
I stopped.
“Did he say that?”
“No.”
I stared.
Mara closed her eyes.
“Right.”
She had done it again.
Deciding someone else’s invitation.
She shook her head.
“Forget I said it.”
“I can't.”
“No.”
She laughed weakly.
“I’m not good at this.”
May you like
Neither of us was.
That was becoming less special.
