Chapter 12 - THE CARDIGAN
Lila refused to wear blue for three months.
Jenna did not notice immediately.
Then spring arrived.
One morning she placed three shirts on the bed.
White.
Green.
Pale blue.
Lila stared at the blue one.
“No.”
Jenna removed it.
“That’s fine.”
Two days later, a blue towel disappeared from Lila’s bathroom.
A week later, she refused a blue backpack offered by the school counselor.
Eventually Jenna understood.
The cardigan.
Lila associated the color with that Tuesday.
With tape.
With pain.
With twenty-one classmates watching her fall.
The school offered remote instruction for the rest of the term.
Lila wanted to return.
Then changed her mind.
Then wanted to return again.
Valerie began visiting once a week.
They did math at Jenna’s kitchen table.
At first, Lila avoided talking about school.
Then one afternoon she asked, “Did everyone laugh?”
“When you fell?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Did Mason tell people?”
“He told his mother you were sick.”
“What did Chloe say?”
“She made you a card.”
Lila looked suspicious.
“What did it say?”
“She said she hoped you came back soon because nobody else traded pretzels with her.”
A tiny smile appeared.
Valerie smiled too.
“Your desk is still there.”
Lila immediately looked nervous.
“You didn’t give it away?”
“No.”
“What about my pencil box?”
“In your desk.”
“And my purple eraser?”
“Still there.”
“Even though I’ve been gone?”
“Still yours.”
The language mattered.
Still yours.
Not borrowed.
Not conditional.
Not something that could disappear because an adult changed the rules.
At the end of May, Lila returned for one hour.
She wore a yellow sweater.
Twenty-one children tried not to stare.
Mason failed.
Lila stopped beside her desk.
The floor looked exactly the same.
That somehow made it worse.
Valerie moved beside her.
“We can leave.”
Lila swallowed.
“No.”
“You’re sure?”
“No.”
Valerie waited.
Lila looked up.
May you like
“But I want to stay anyway.”
So she did.
