Chapter 13 - Daniel Asked Vanessa To Leave, But Not Forever
That evening Daniel and Vanessa sat at opposite ends of their bedroom.
Lily was still at her friend’s house.
Owen had gone to a hotel.
Evelyn had gone home.
The house was finally quiet enough that Daniel could hear the refrigerator downstairs.
Vanessa had packed nothing.
Daniel noticed.
“I think you should stay somewhere else tonight.”
She looked at him.
“For how long?”
“I don't know.”
“Daniel.”
“I don't.”
Vanessa’s face tightened.
“Are you ending the marriage?”
“I don't know.”
She stood.
“That’s convenient.”
He almost laughed.
“Coming from us?”
She stopped.
Fair.
Daniel continued.
“I don't know what I’m doing with twelve years in one afternoon.”
“You think Owen is innocent now.”
“No.”
That surprised her.
“He lied. Took money. Let me hate him while he had a secret relationship with Dad.”
Vanessa looked away.
“And?”
“You lied too.”
“Yes.”
“You watched me cut him off.”
“Yes.”
“You knew Dad was seeing him for three years.”
“Yes.”
“You scheduled Dad’s study to be cleared without telling me.”
Her face tightened.
“I was going to tell you.”
“Stop.”
She did.
He leaned back.
“I cannot hear that phrase from anyone else today.”
Vanessa almost smiled.
It disappeared quickly.
“Why clear the study?”
He asked.
She looked toward the hall.
“Because I was tired of that room controlling the house.”
“Then why not tell me?”
“Because every time I mentioned it, you said later.”
“So you picked a date.”
“Yes.”
“And the notebook?”
“I didn't know Lily had it.”
“I believe you.”
Vanessa looked surprised.
Some truths survived even in damaged marriages.
Daniel continued.
“Did you want it gone?”
She thought.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew Henry wrote about us.”
“You read one line.”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“I knew there would be more.”
“Were you afraid of what he thought?”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“I was afraid you'd trust a dead man’s notebook more than anything I said now.”
Daniel stared.
“That sounds like something I might do.”
“Yes.”
“And you used that possibility to justify taking the choice away.”
“Yes.”
He looked toward the window.
Vanessa sat again.
“I don't want to lose Lily.”
“You aren't losing Lily.”
She breathed out.
“Unless—”
“Stop.”
She did.
“Whatever happens between us, she has a mother.”
Vanessa looked at him.
“Do you still think I’m a good one?”
Daniel took too long.
Her face changed.
“I think you love her.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I know.”
She looked down.
Then:
“I scared her today.”
“Yes.”
“I've been telling myself she didn't understand.”
“She understood enough to ask whether you’d pour water on Evelyn again.”
Vanessa closed her eyes.
Daniel continued:
“I need you somewhere else tonight.”
She nodded.
“My sister’s.”
“Okay.”
“Lily can call you.”
“Yes.”
“And tomorrow?”
“We talk.”
“About coming home?”
“About everything.”
Vanessa stood and finally opened the closet.
She packed slowly.
Then stopped.
“Daniel.”
“What?”
“The night Owen left…”
He waited.
“I did try to tell you once.”
He stared.
“When?”
“Two weeks later.”
“What happened?”
“You said, ‘If this is about Owen, I’m done.’”
Daniel remembered.
Kitchen.
Vanessa trying to speak.
Him walking out.
The memory did not absolve her.
It did remove one convenient story.
“You stopped trying.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I was relieved.”
That answer was harder.
Daniel nodded.
“Thank you for saying that.”
Vanessa zipped the bag.
She did not ask whether that helped.
It didn’t.
When Lily came home, Vanessa told her:
“I’m staying at Aunt Rebecca’s for a little while.”
Lily cried.
Vanessa cried too.
Daniel did not say everything would be fine.
Vanessa did not say Daddy was making her leave.
They survived ten painful minutes without recruiting their daughter.
Then Vanessa walked out the front door.
Lily watched the car disappear.
She looked at Daniel.
“Is she coming back?”
Daniel put his arm around her.
“I don't know when.”
May you like
Lily hated the answer.
She accepted it anyway.
