Chapter 12 - Lucas Did Not Want To Replace Gary
Lucas took Ethan to a community basketball court.
I went too.
Sat on a bench.
Did not coach anybody.
It was surprisingly difficult.
Ethan missed six shots.
Lucas missed on purpose twice.
Ethan noticed.
“Stop letting me win.”
Lucas looked offended.
“I am an elite athlete.”
“You work in insurance.”
“Cruel.”
Ethan smiled.
That was the first time I'd heard it since the kitchen.
Halfway through, Ethan asked:
“Are you my brother?”
Lucas stopped dribbling.
“Technically, yeah.”
“Half?”
“Half.”
Ethan frowned.
“Brooke's half too.”
I raised a hand.
“Still rude.”
Ethan smiled again.
Then:
“Can you be my dad instead?”
Everything stopped.
Lucas lowered the ball.
“No.”
Immediate.
Gentle.
Ethan's face fell.
Lucas sat on the court.
“Come here.”
Ethan sat beside him.
“I can be your brother.”
“Why not dad?”
“Because you have a dad.”
“He's bad.”
Lucas looked toward me.
I stayed out.
He turned back.
“Your dad hurt you.”
Ethan nodded.
“That matters.”
“Then why can't I pick a new one?”
Lucas smiled sadly.
“Because people aren't job titles we replace when they fail.”
Ethan looked confused.
Lucas continued:
“You can decide how close you want to be to Gary someday. Adults will decide what is safe now. But I don't want you needing me to erase him so I can matter.”
I felt something tighten in my chest.
Lucas had thought about this.
Probably in therapy.
Ethan leaned against him.
“Can you still come to games?”
“Absolutely.”
“Even if Dad does?”
Lucas paused.
“If it's safe.”
Good.
No territorial promise.
Afterward, Lucas and I watched Ethan shoot.
I asked:
“Did you rehearse that?”
“Only every night for fourteen years.”
I looked at him.
He shrugged.
“I used to imagine somebody replacing Gary for me.”
“Did anyone?”
“No.”
“Your aunt?”
“She helped.”
Not replacement.
Help.
I nodded.
Then Lucas asked:
“What are you doing with your life?”
“Excuse me?”
“You have Ethan. Work. Gary. Mom. Holloway.”
“So?”
“You're doing the thing.”
“What thing?”
“Becoming the emergency.”
I stared.
He continued.
“You arrived and now every hour is rescue.”
“He needs me.”
“Yes.”
“That sounded like a trap.”
“It isn't.”
He looked at Ethan.
“He needs a sister who has a life too.”
I almost laughed.
“You've known me three days.”
“I remember enough.”
“What do you remember?”
“You used to follow me around until I hid in the bathroom.”
“That sounds fake.”
“You cried outside the door.”
“Definitely fake.”
He smiled.
Then became serious.
“I don't want you doing what Marianne did.”
My face hardened.
He raised a hand.
“Different direction.”
“What?”
“Building your entire identity around managing somebody else's danger.”
That landed.
Too hard.
I looked away.
“I left once.”
“Yes.”
“Now I’m here.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not leaving him again.”
“Staying doesn't have to mean disappearing into him.”
I hated that sentence because it was useful.
That afternoon, Holloway called.
Gary's contact remained restricted.
DCF had not made a long-term placement decision.
No dramatic resolution.
Then Holloway said:
“Lucas agreed to give a full statement about 2010.”
I frowned.
“Why now?”
“Because current investigators need history.”
“Will it help Ethan?”
“Maybe.”
I hated that answer.
Then:
“Brooke, I need to ask you something about your statement too.”
“My old one?”
“Yes.”
“I lied.”
“You were fourteen.”
“I still lied.”
“That isn't the question.”
“What is?”
“Do you remember Gary ever asking you to hurt Lucas?”
I froze.
“What?”
Holloway waited.
Something moved in my memory.
Not physical hurt.
Words.
Gary telling me Lucas was coming over to upset Mom.
Gary asking me what I'd say if Lucas came.
Me practicing.
He's a liar.
He's trying to break us up.
I closed my eyes.
“Holloway.”
“Yes?”
“I think Gary told me what to say before Lucas came to the window.”
Silence.
Then:
“That's what Lucas believes too.”
My stomach turned.
“But how would Gary know Lucas was coming?”
Holloway didn't answer.
I sat up.
“How?”
Another pause.
“That's what we're trying to understand.”
The old night had just changed again.
May you like
Lucas had always believed he surprised Gary.
Maybe he hadn't.
