Chapter 8 - Nia Didn’t Want My Apology First
Nia Brooks arrived at 10:20.
Civilian clothes.
Dark coat.
No dramatic entrance.
She signed in at the front desk like everyone else.
I knew her the second I saw her.
Not from memory.
From the way Dana stood.
Nia looked at me.
“Rachel.”
“Hi.”
She studied my face.
“You look almost the same.”
“I don't feel almost the same.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
I didn't know whether she meant it kindly.
We sat in the canteen because Nia refused Walter's office.
Good.
I started:
“I’m sorry.”
She held up one hand.
“No.”
I stopped.
“I've been waiting two years to ask you something before anybody apologizes.”
“Okay.”
“When I came to you about the recommendation, did you believe me?”
A fragment surfaced.
Nia standing beside a vending machine.
Holding a folded page.
Her voice:
You know this wording.
My own irritation.
Not disbelief.
Fear.
I looked at her.
“Yes.”
Nia's face changed.
“You remember?”
“Enough.”
“Then why did you defend the Circle?”
Because the answer was ugly.
“I thought I could separate the useful part from what Walter was doing with it.”
“That’s what you said then.”
My stomach tightened.
“So I believed you.”
“Eventually.”
“Not eventually.”
Nia leaned forward.
“You believed the wording came from the Circle the first day.”
I stared.
She continued:
“You just weren't ready to admit the program itself had become the problem.”
There.
Not confusion.
Delay.
“How long?”
“Eleven days.”
Less than three months on this specific fact.
Still eleven days somebody else had to live inside.
“What happened during those eleven?”
“You asked Mason whether anyone else had seen similar language.”
“And?”
“He found more.”
“Then?”
“You confronted Walter.”
“What did he say?”
“That instructors use similar words all the time.”
Plausible deniability.
“Did I believe him?”
“No.”
“Then why wait another week before the salute?”
Nia looked at me.
“You were trying to save your slot.”
My throat tightened.
“What slot?”
“The instructor-development assignment.”
Luis had mentioned it.
“What did saving it require?”
“Not being under investigation.”
I closed my eyes.
Of course.
If I publicly exposed an unauthorized program I helped create, my own selection could be suspended.
“What did I do?”
“You asked whether we could close the Circle, document the problem internally, and move on.”
“Did you agree?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because ‘move on’ meant you kept the assignment.”
That landed.
“What did you say to me?”
Nia almost smiled.
“I said if the program was good enough to help you get selected, it was real enough to answer for.”
A flash.
Her exact expression.
My shame.
Then me sitting alone on the red mat after everyone left.
That memory stayed three seconds.
Enough.
“The next day,” Nia said, “you withdrew from the slot.”
I looked up.
“What?”
“You don't remember?”
“No.”
“You gave it up.”
Something in my chest loosened.
Nia noticed.
“Don't look relieved.”
I stopped.
“You still waited until it became personal.”
She was right.
“Why did you come today?”
“Not for you.”
“Walter.”
“Yes.”
“What do you want to happen?”
Nia looked toward the crowded canteen.
“I want his ceremony to stop calling what happened reform.”
“Do you want him punished?”
“I wanted that two years ago.”
“And now?”
She shrugged.
“I have another life.”
“Then why come?”
“Because I saw the citation.”
Same as Dana.
“Are you going to speak?”
“If someone asks me.”
“Would you stand up during the ceremony?”
“No.”
That surprised me.
“Why?”
“Because I am tired of rooms where somebody else scripts my gesture.”
I almost laughed.
Dana should hear that.
Nia continued:
“If command wants the truth, they can ask a question with my name attached.”
Good.
Then she looked at me.
“Are you taking Mason's job?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“I haven't decided anything.”
She nodded.
“Better.”
I frowned.
“Why do you care?”
“Because Mason thinks you came back to replace him.”
“I know.”
“And Walter encouraged that.”
“I know.”
Nia looked toward the door.
“Mason isn't innocent.”
“No.”
“But if Walter can make the two of you fight each other, nobody asks why both of you spent years trying to keep his approval.”
That one hurt.
Mason appeared in the entrance as if summoned by the sentence.
He saw Nia.
Stopped.
Nia looked at him.
“Hi.”
Mason nodded.
“Hey.”
No fireworks.
Just history entering lunch.
Then Walter's aide approached our table.
“Colonel Hayes wants all three of you at the rehearsal in thirty minutes.”
Nia laughed softly.
“All three?”
The aide looked at me, Mason, and Nia.
“Yes.”
Dana wasn't invited.
Interesting.
I asked:
“Why?”
The aide hesitated.
Then:
“The citation has been pulled.”
Walter's award had already changed.
May you like
Someone above him had finally asked a question.
And Walter wanted the people who could answer it in a room before the ceremony started.
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