Chapter 14 - My Father Put The Wings On The Table And Left Them There
Dad drove home two days later.
Before he left, he asked me to meet him near the visitor center.
He had the silver wings.
No box.
No ceremony.
He placed them on the picnic table.
“They’re yours if you want them.”
I looked at him.
“We did this.”
“I know.”
“Still no.”
He nodded.
Then:
“They're also mine if I want them.”
“Yes.”
He stared at the silver.
“I don't know if I do.”
That surprised me.
I sat.
“Why?”
“Because I've spent years thinking of them as Sarah.”
Mom.
“And now?”
“Now they're also Alan.”
“Mess hall.”
“Mason.”
“Me.”
Dad nodded.
“Too many people for one pair of wings.”
I almost smiled.
He picked them up.
Then set them down again.
“Your mother would hate this.”
“What?”
“She thought objects were only sentimental because men ran out of vocabulary.”
I laughed.
That sounded like her.
Dad smiled.
For several seconds neither of us said anything.
Then:
“Rachel.”
“What?”
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Alan.”
I looked at him.
He continued.
“I told myself it was my history.”
“It was.”
“And?”
“You made it part of mine when you knew Mason was here and said nothing.”
Dad nodded.
“I didn't know what he believed.”
“You knew what Alan believed.”
“Yes.”
“You knew they were father and son.”
“Yes.”
“Why not warn me?”
He stared toward the gate.
“I didn't want you inheriting my feud.”
“You let me inherit the blind spot instead.”
His mouth tightened.
“Yes.”
I waited.
No explanation came.
Better.
Then I asked:
“Why haven't we talked in three years?”
Dad looked at me.
“That is a larger ambush.”
“Answer.”
He smiled slightly.
Then lost it.
“Because every time you disagreed with me, I heard disrespect.”
I stared.
He continued.
“And every time I gave advice, you heard control.”
“Sometimes it was.”
“Yes.”
“And?”
He looked at his hands.
“I got tired of losing.”
That was not noble.
It was useful.
“So you stopped calling.”
“Yes.”
“So did I.”
“Yes.”
We sat.
The wings remained between us.
Dad said:
“I’m leaving at two.”
“I know.”
“You want lunch?”
I looked at the clock.
“Sure.”
He picked up the wings.
Then hesitated.
“Car?”
“Your choice.”
He put them in his pocket.
Not mine.
May you like
We went to lunch.
That was enough.
