Chapter 7 - MY MOTHER CAME TO THE HOTEL
Margaret arrived the next afternoon.
Unannounced.
She found us because I had told Aunt Carol which hotel we were using.
I almost refused to see her.
Then Noah said:
“I want to hear what she says.”
That sentence was too adult.
I sent both children to the indoor pool with my friend Melanie, who lived nearby.
Then I met Margaret in the lobby.
She looked exhausted.
“Are you happy?”
“No.”
“You ruined Christmas.”
“No.”
“Everyone was furious.”
“At whom?”
“Me.”
“Why?”
“Because you canceled everything.”
“Then why were they furious at you?”
She stopped.
Because the family had started comparing stories.
Margaret sat across from me.
“Amanda said you’d never actually cancel.”
“That was her mistake.”
“You embarrassed her.”
“She put my children on the floor.”
“Claire, they are children.”
I stared at her.
“Yes.”
She said it again, slower.
“As if that explains why they should get less.”
Margaret looked away.
“Tyler and Brooke are guests.”
“So are Lily and Noah.”
“They’re family.”
“Exactly.”
That landed.
She rubbed her hands together.
“I was trying to keep the peace.”
“With Amanda.”
“She was making a scene.”
“So you gave her what she wanted.”
“You’re easier.”
There it was.
The most honest thing my mother said all week.
You’re easier.
I leaned back.
“Do you hear yourself?”
She started crying.
“I knew you would understand.”
“No. You knew I would absorb it.”
“That isn’t fair.”
“It’s exactly fair.”
For years, Margaret had rewarded Amanda’s difficult behavior because the alternative was conflict.
I became the child expected to compromise.
Give up the larger bedroom.
Drive farther.
Pay more.
Ignore comments.
Take the bad seat.
Be mature.
And now my children were being assigned the same role because they belonged to me.
That ended at the hallway.
“I can handle being treated unfairly,” I told her. “I’ve had practice.”
She flinched.
“But I’m not teaching Lily and Noah that love means accepting less so louder people stay happy.”
Margaret wiped her face.
“I never meant to hurt them.”
“No. You meant to avoid upsetting Amanda.”
She stared at me.
“And you were willing to hurt them to do it.”
May you like
That was different.
Intentions stopped being useful after a certain point.
