Chapter 5 - WHAT WAS INSIDE THE FOLDER
Back in the courthouse hallway, Helen reached me first.
She did not hug me.
That mattered.
She knew I hated surprise touching.
Instead she crouched slightly so our eyes were level.
“Hi.”
I stared at the folder.
“What did you file?”
Robert exhaled.
Helen glanced at Judge Cole.
He remained several steps away, deliberately giving us room.
Then she looked back at me.
“An application to be considered as your placement.”
I frowned.
“What does that mean?”
“It means we’ve asked the county to evaluate our home.”
“For what?”
“For you.”
I actually laughed.
Not because it was funny.
Because the sentence did not fit anywhere in my brain.
“You don’t know me.”
Robert spoke.
“We know some.”
“You visit me for an hour.”
“Sometimes ninety minutes,” Helen said.
I stared at her.
“Seriously?”
“Sorry.”
Robert almost smiled.
I did not.
“What happens when I screw up?”
Neither answered immediately.
Good.
If Helen had said you won’t, I would have walked away.
Finally Robert said, “Depends what you do.”
I looked at him.
“That’s it?”
“If you break a lamp, we deal with a lamp.”
“And if I run?”
“We call the people we’re supposed to call and start looking.”
“What if I yell at you?”
Helen shrugged.
“I raised two sons. You’re going to have to be more original.”
I looked at the folder again.
“Your kids know?”
“They’re adults,” Robert said. “And yes.”
“They okay with it?”
“They asked if you like baseball.”
“I don’t.”
Helen sighed.
“That may be the real obstacle.”
Something in my chest hurt.
I looked toward Judge Cole.
“Is this real?”
“Yes.”
“Do I have to go?”
“No.”
That answer stunned me.
Most things in my life happened because somebody said I had to.
Judge Cole continued.
“This starts a process. Home assessment. Interviews. Your caseworker. Your attorney. The Turners. And you.”
“Me?”
“You.”
“What if I say no?”
“Then people respect no.”
I looked back at Helen.
“Why?”
She understood what I was asking.
Why me?
Why the paperwork?
Why keep coming?
Her eyes filled.
“Because one Saturday became two.”
She swallowed.
“Then two became ten. And eventually we realized we weren’t visiting a kid in a facility anymore.”
Robert finished quietly.
“We were visiting Liam.”
Nobody had ever said my name like that before.
Like it meant a person instead of a problem attached to a file.
I looked down because crying in a courthouse hallway felt unacceptable.
May you like
Helen pretended not to notice.
Another reason I started trusting her.
