Chapter 12 - Nora Never Asked Me To Move Back In
That evening, I carried one suitcase from the hotel into the house.
Nora was in the living room.
She looked at it.
Then at me.
“What are you doing?”
“Bringing clothes home.”
“I can see that.”
I waited.
She didn't move.
My confidence dropped about six floors.
“You asked me to come home.”
“Monday night.”
“I've been here every night since.”
“Yes.”
“I thought—”
She raised one hand.
Not hostile.
Careful.
“This is the problem.”
I set the suitcase down.
“What?”
“You hear one thing and finish the rest.”
I stared.
She sat.
I stayed standing.
She said:
“I wanted you home Monday because Ethan had information about our family and I wasn't going to let him deliver it into another hotel-room argument.”
“Okay.”
“I wanted you here Tuesday because we needed to speak.”
“Okay.”
“I did not say we're fixed.”
“I didn't say we are.”
“You brought a suitcase.”
I looked at it.
Annoyingly persuasive evidence.
“Where do you want me to sleep?”
“I don't know.”
I laughed softly.
She almost did too.
Then didn't.
I sat opposite her.
“Marcus told me to ask whether you actually want me back.”
Her expression hardened.
“Of course he did.”
“I almost didn't ask.”
“That would've been familiar.”
I accepted it.
“So I'm asking.”
She looked toward the staircase.
“Some nights.”
Not the answer I expected.
“What does that mean?”
“It means Ethan wants you here.”
“What do you want?”
She looked at me.
“I want to stop deciding my entire marriage during emergencies.”
I leaned back.
She continued:
“You get hurt, we reconnect. Ethan has a problem, we become a team. Your contract comes up, suddenly we talk for six hours.”
“And regular days?”
“We pass each other.”
I nodded.
She stared at the suitcase.
“I don't know whether I want us to stay married.”
The words hurt.
She didn't soften them.
I appreciated that later.
Not then.
“You wanted me to come home and then tell me that?”
“No.”
She looked at me.
“I wanted you to come home so I could stop telling you important things only when I thought you'd stay long enough to hear them.”
I sat with it.
She continued:
“I hid Ethan quitting basketball.”
“Yes.”
“That was wrong.”
“Yes.”
“I met Dana without telling you.”
“Yes.”
“I wanted certainty before I had to deal with your reaction.”
I looked at her.
“Same thing I did.”
“Pretty much.”
I hated how unsatisfying mutual responsibility was.
Nobody got to stand cleanly outside the mess.
“What about the move?” I asked.
Nora shook her head.
“Don't stay because of me.”
“What if I want to?”
“Then stay.”
“What if I want to leave?”
“Then tell me before Marcus tells a general manager.”
Fair.
I looked toward the staircase.
“Ethan hates basketball.”
“He hates being watched.”
“Not the same.”
“No.”
That helped.
I stood.
“What do I do with the suitcase?”
Nora looked at it.
“Guest room.”
I nodded.
Not our bedroom.
Not the hotel.
Guest room.
Specific.
Temporary.
Real.
I carried it upstairs.
When I came back down, Nora was holding the original envelope.
I had left it on the kitchen counter.
She turned it over in her hands.
“I didn't come up with the condition.”
I stopped.
“What?”
“Only open it if you're planning to come home tonight.”
I stared at her.
“Whose idea was it?”
May you like
She looked toward Ethan's bedroom.
“His.”
