Chapter 6 - Megan Tried To Tell Me
Daniel brought Megan's letter to the hospital that evening.
He did not hand it to me immediately.
Smart.
He held the envelope and said:
“I have something that belongs to you.”
I stared.
“Do not make me ask.”
He gave it over.
My name was written across the front.
Claire Bennett.
Megan's handwriting, presumably.
Envelope opened.
Already.
I looked at him.
“You opened it.”
“Yes.”
“Of course.”
“I thought I needed to know what she was going to say.”
“That sentence should be engraved on your head.”
He closed his eyes.
I pulled out three pages.
Then stopped.
I did not read them in the corridor.
Daniel looked surprised.
“Why?”
“Because you're standing here.”
He nodded.
Good.
I put the envelope into my bag.
“What did she say?”
“Read it.”
“No.”
His face tightened.
“You read my letter. Tell me what you took from it.”
Daniel looked toward Lily's room.
“She told you Ryan was mine.”
“Obviously.”
“She told you she didn't want money.”
“Did she get money?”
“Yes.”
“Then why say that?”
“She meant she wasn't writing because of support.”
“What else?”
“That she had spent years agreeing to secrecy longer than she should have.”
Good.
“What did she say about you?”
Daniel looked away.
“Daniel.”
“She said I was a good father in pieces.”
That landed.
“Pieces.”
“Yes.”
“Anything else?”
“She said I used fear of losing you to justify making Ryan live like something shameful.”
He looked sick.
“Was she wrong?”
“No.”
“Did she say she wanted him living here?”
“No.”
There.
“What did she want?”
“She wanted you to know he existed before any decision about the future.”
“Then you promised him the future first.”
“Yes.”
“What did she say about that?”
“That I was making you the villain before you had a chance to answer.”
I stopped.
“What?”
Daniel's eyes filled.
“She said if Ryan believed you were the obstacle, he would hate you.”
My stomach tightened.
“Did he?”
“He resented you.”
“You never told me.”
“No.”
“Did he resent Lily?”
“Yes.”
“How much?”
“I didn't know.”
“Did Megan?”
“Yes.”
“What did she tell you?”
“To stop telling him how happy Lily made me.”
I stared.
“What?”
Daniel flinched.
“It sounds worse—”
“It sounds exactly like what you did. Explain.”
“When Ryan asked about my life, I told him things.”
“About Lily.”
“Yes.”
“Birthday parties.”
“Yes.”
“Christmas.”
“Sometimes.”
“First day of kindergarten?”
“Yes.”
My hands went cold.
Ryan had been fed a slideshow of the childhood he wasn't allowed to enter.
“What did Megan say?”
“That he came home angry after visits.”
“At Lily.”
“Sometimes.”
“And you kept talking.”
“I thought I was making him feel included.”
“You were making him an audience.”
Daniel sat against the hallway wall.
For once, he looked less like a wealthy Bennett and more like a man who had run out of sentences.
“I loved both of them.”
“That isn't the problem.”
“I know.”
“No. The problem is you thought loving both children meant you could decide the structure around both of them.”
He looked at me.
“Yes.”
“Did Megan ever tell Ryan I knew?”
“No.”
“You did?”
His eyes shifted.
My pulse changed.
“What exactly did you tell him?”
Daniel did not answer.
I stepped closer.
“Daniel.”
“He asked why you never met him.”
I already hated the rest.
“What did you say?”
“That it was complicated.”
“And?”
“He kept asking.”
“What did you say?”
Daniel looked at his hands.
“That you knew about him.”
My entire body went still.
“How long has Ryan believed I knew?”
Daniel whispered:
“About a year.”
A year.
“What did you tell him I thought?”
“Claire—”
“What?”
“That you weren't ready.”
My throat closed.
There it was.
The lie underneath the brick.
Not only:
Dad has another family.
But:
Dad's wife knows I exist and doesn't want me there.
“You made me reject a child I had never met.”
“I was trying to keep him from feeling like a secret.”
I stared at him.
“You made me the reason he stayed one.”
No answer.
Down the hall, Tessa appeared.
She had heard enough to know something had changed.
Ryan was behind her.
He looked at me.
Bruise dark on his cheek.
Eyes swollen.
Then he said:
“You really didn't know?”
I looked at Daniel.
He had lied to me for eight years.
May you like
And to his son for one.
But the expression on Ryan's face made the latest lie feel like the cruelest.
